…om en paus från någon man älskar

Kära Laptop,

Hur är det med dig? Hoppas att du mår bra.

För om du inte mår bra får jag panik och blir arg och svär. Jag som aldrig svär. Det är vad du gör med mig. För jag älskar dig, och när du inte mår bra så mår inte jag bra heller. När du inte är hos mig så saknar jag dig. Efter att jag sagt god morgon till min man och mina barn så är du den första jag vill träffa.

Jag tar med dig överallt. På promenaden, på mataffären, på shoppingturen. Du får följa med och lämna på dagis, följa med på föräldragruppsmöten, följa med på läkarbesök. När vi åker på semester så är du med. Du sitter i knät på flyget, på tåget, på bussen. Du är med när jag ammar, när jag lagar mat, när jag tränar. Jag vill ha dig hos mig när jag ska se på film. Jag vill ha dig mittemot när jag äter lunch. Jag vill ha med dig i sovrummet, för tänk om någon bryter sig in på natten utan att vi vaknar och tar dig där du står i vardagsrummet? Bättre att ha dig nära.

Men på sistone har jag känt att jag inte får lika mycket tillbaka. Du tycks mig allt mer distanserad, och fastän du gör allt som jag ber dig om så känns det inte som att det räcker.

Kanske är det inte du, kanske är det jag. Kanske behöver jag vara lite mera själv. Kanske behöver vi ta en paus från varandra, då och då. Inte hela tiden, men ibland. Så att vi kan uppskatta varandra mer sedan. Kanske ska vi sluta kolla på film ihop, till exempel? Du brukar ju ändå aldrig se själva filmen.

Och knappt jag heller.

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